Friday, August 11, 2006

"Wait, Aren't You Scared?"

Errr, no. And if you are, you frankly should be a little goddam embarrassed.

No false bravado and it's not that I don't take terrorism seriously. I do, which I why I voted for the guy who believed in securing our ports and fighting terrorism with criminal investigation methods -- which is, if we may remind everybody, how this particular plot was busted.

I am just not going to wet my pants every time some guys get arrested in a terror plot. I will do my best to stay informed. I will support the necessary law enforcement agencies. I will take whatever reasonable precautions seem, um, reasonable. But I will not be terrorized. I assume that the terror-ists would like me to be terror-ized, as that is what is says on their nametag, rather than, say, wanting me to surrender to ennui or negative body image, and they're just coming the long way around.

Osama Bin Laden got everything on his Christmas list after 9/11 -- US out of Saudi Arabia; the greatest military in the world over-extended, pinned down and distracted; the greatest proponent of democracy suddenly alienated from its allies; a US culture verily eager to destroy freedoms that little scumfuck could never even dream to touch himself -- I would like to deny him the last little check on the clipboard, i.e. constant terror. I panic, they win. To coin a phrase, Osama Bin Laden can suck my insouciance.

I am absolutely buffaloed by the people who insist I man up and take it in the teeth for the great Clash of Civilizations -- "Come ON, people, this is the EPIC LAST WAR!! You just don't have the stones to face that fact head-on!" -- who at the whiff of an actual terror plot will, with no apparent sense of irony, transform and run around shrieking, eyes rolling and Hello Kitty panties flashing like Japanese schoolgirls who have just realized that the call is coming from inside the house!

I may have shared too much there.

To be honest, it's not like I'm a brave man. I'm not. At all. It just, well, it doesn't take that much strength of will not to be scared. Who the hell am I supposed to be scared of? Joseph Padilla, dirty bomber who didn't actually know how to build a bomb, had no allies or supplies, and against whom the government case is so weak they're now shuffling him from court to court to avoid the public embarassment of a trial? The fuckwits who were going to take down the Brooklyn Bridge with blowtorches? Richard Reid, the Zeppo of suicide bombers? The great Canadian plot that had organized over the internet, was penetrated by the Mounties on day one, and we were told had a TRUCK FULL OF EXPLOSIVES ... which they had bought from the Mounties in a sting operation but hey let's skip right over that. Or how about the "compound" of Christian cultists in Florida who were planning on blowing up the Sears Tower with ... kung fu?

And now these guys. As the initial "OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD THEY CAN BLOW US UP WITH SNAPPLE BOTTLES!!" hysteria subsides, we discover that these guys had been under surveillance, completely penetrated, by no less than three major intelligence agencies. That they were planning on cell phones, and some of them openly travelled to Pakistan (way to keep the cover, Reilly, Ace of Spies). Hell, Chertoff knew about this two weeks ago, and the only reason that some people can scream this headline:

"The London Bombers were within DAYS of trying a dry run!!!"

-- was because MI-5, MI-6, and Scotland Yard let them get that close, so they could suck in the largest number of contacts (again, very spiffy police work). The fact that these wingnuts could have been rolled up, at will, at any time, seems to have competely escaped the media buzz.

This is terrorism's A-game? Sack up, people.

Again, this is not to do anything less than marvel as cool, well-trained, ruthless law-enforcement professionals -- who spent decades honing their craft chasing my IRA cousins -- execute their job magnificently. Should we take this seriously? DAMN STRAIGHT we take this seriously. Left unchecked, these terror-fanboy bastards would have gone down in history. These cretins' intent was monstrous; they should, and will, all go to jail for a very long time. This is the part where we all breathe a sigh of relief that there are some actual professionals working the job in some countries.

But God gave me a brain, and a modicum of spine. Taking something seriously, and panicking over it are two different things. I do not assign all dangers and risks equal value. Tight little freelance squads with leak-proof operational discipline, like the 7/7 guys, -- those I worry about. A nuke coming in through one of ridiculously open ports -- I am concerned. Not bio-terror so much, because it's a shitty delivery mechanism. That the Muslim population of England seems to be becoming radicalized enough to sprout up these plots, that's not a good thing to consider. al-Queda involvement -- good if true because this means their recruiting is shitty: bad if true because this means they're back in business: bad if false because it means al-Queda has indeed become a "brand": but good if false because it reinforces the idea that they're operationally crippled (and if Zwahari is involved, I personally would like a word with whatever idiot nation took their eyes of the ball and let him escape ...)

... You get the point. There are a million factors in this New World of Terror. You weigh 'em, you process, and then you move on.

You move on, building a better international society so that luddite fundamentalist criminal gangs/cults of personality are further and further marginalized.

Or, if you don't understand 4th Generation Warfare at all, you move on, bombing the shit out of nation-states and handing your opponents massive PR victories. Either way, you move the fuck on.

Maybe it's just, I cast my eyes back on the last century ...

FDR: Oh, I'm sorry, was wiping out our entire Pacific fleet supposed to intimidate us? We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and right now we're coming to kick your ass with brand new destroyers riveted by waitresses. How's that going to feel?

CHURCHILL: Yeah, you keep bombing us. We'll be in the pub, flipping you off. I'm slapping Rolls-Royce engines into untested flying coffins to knock you out of the skies, and then I'm sending angry Welshmen to burn your country from the Rhine to the Polish border.

US. NOW: BE AFRAID!! Oh God, the Brown Bad people could strike any moment! They could strike ... NOW!! AHHHH. Okay, how about .. NOW!! AAGAGAHAHAHHAG! Quick, do whatever we tell you, and believe whatever we tell you, or YOU WILL BE KILLED BY BROWN PEOPLE!! PUT DOWN THAT SIPPY CUP!!

... and I'm just a little tired of being on the wrong side of that historical arc.

This is it, folks. This is the world, from now on. Even assuming the War on Terror is a not just a bad metaphor and there is an actual measurable winning point*, the short 4GW struggles last fifty years or so. We're going to be stopping one or two of these bastard mass-murder plots a year, minimum, for the rest of our lives. Hell, the way terror tactics and tech evolve, five years from now we're going to be pining for the dudes with the flammable juice boxes.

It's now part of our life. Let's try not to hop like the trained monkeys every time it happens.

I'm just pleased that for once, nobody --

"Weeks before September 11th, this is going to play big," said another White House official, who also spoke on condition of not being named, adding that some Democratic candidates won't "look as appealing" under the circumstances."

-- ahhhh. Never mind








(NOTE: This is getting heavy linkage, so I'll poke the new readers and linkers to donate to this month's charity, the Fisher House, which provides housing for families of wounded soldiers during their treatment, so families can stay together. I match all donations -- so if you like my writing donate; if you HATE me, then donate MORE, and bankrupt me with your hate!)

(NOTE: the Second. With all the traffic coming in, threw up a new INDEX PAGE up top. You like the new stuff, you may like the old. Take a look)




*(bottle of 18-year old Scotch to whoever can meaningfully define THAT strategic goal, by the way)

216 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 216   Newer›   Newest»
voxpopgirl said...

damn straight, John.

these WATB's have their panties in a bunch. and the Cheney Admin. would love us all to be a collective pliant lump of human putty.

lisa dalbello, toronto
voxpopgirl

Simon Underwood said...

Oh yeah! You've got the attitude we should take over this bang on. Watching Sky news coverage of the events for most of yesterday, it was clear that most of the British populace weren't scared of the possibility of further chance of attack (if any), just damn well pissed off their holiday plans were interrupted.

I woke up to find this all over my digital TV yesterday morning and was once again impressed (like with 7/7) with what seemed to be thought-out, measured responses all round from enforcement agencies, correspondents and pretty much everyone and his dog on the street. As you say, letting ourselves panic over every newly discovered threat? Whose got the time to do that anyway?

And thankyou for the image of my ancestors sitting in a pub flipping off the Nazis. I'll bet my grandparents actually did do that at one time.

Jennifer Ouellette said...

Thanks for saying this so well, and so humorously. I live in DC, and get disgusted watching everyone run around in panic like a bunch of scared jackrabbits every time a terrorist plot is foiled. And dammit, taking away my shampoo and soda bottles on flights doesnt make the skies one whi safer.

Noah Brand said...

See, if I thought you were serious with that scotch offer, I'd be all over it. I bet we could get a lot of good national-policy work done on that basis.

I often fantasize about a president with the balls to say to terrorists, "There's nothing you can do that we're scared of. We're the most powerful nation in history because we stand for the most powerful things. You're a bunch of dead-enders trapped in a cycle of hate and ignorance, and you ARE NOT FRIGHTENING. We'll hunt you down and stamp you out, and we'll go on standing for freedom and human dignity, and nothing you can do will change either of those things. You lost this fight the minute we showed up to it."

Instead we get a chickenshit profiteer who thinks politics is a game and turns everything he touches to crap.

You ever think you're in the wrong alternate universe? Somewhere there's a scientist looking through a portal into our world and learning an important lesson about appreciating what you've got. I suspect Rod Serling's standing behind him talking to a wall.

Jay.J said...

Even my right-leaning friend, who is flying off to Amsterdam on Saturday said, "Hell, if it's my time to die, I might as well go in an exploding plane. But what really freaks me out is what I'm going to do with the two bottles of Ethan Allen furniture polish I'm supposed to bring to my friend?"

Yes, I can hear the TSA guys now, "This lady has two bottles of polyurethane and electronic devices in her carry on. Take her to Gitmo."

That Girl said...

"suck my insouciance"

I adore you.

I think the people that fall for this over and over are those that convince themselves that death is a consequence for people who "deserve" it, rather then a consequence of life.

Jon said...

A. Fucking. Men. Spot on, John.

Not to be fatalistic, but I work in New York. Shit's gonna blow up, shit's gonna blow up; meanwhile, I gotta pay the mortgage and find a decent sandwich for lunch. Yeah, I might die. If there's a vengeful God up there I might even go to Hell for laughing at the idea, and quicker than I'd like. But in the meantime, letting the Knights who Say Ni! tell me to play Sir Robin just doesn't fly. Hasn't since the Trade Center, to tell the truth. Of course I'm watchful; of course it makes me look at the world a little differently. But que sera, sera. I've got insurance; my wife is taken care of and I'm not so great a catch as to be irreplaceable. I'm more nervous about the Washington idiots trying to get us all killed for sake of the Rapture...

On a side note, it's funny how the Bad Guys keep not being from the country we've got our military in, eh?

A question: if the plot had succeeded, would we now be pondering attacks against Britain?

-j

RadioSilence said...

Well said sir.

Couple things that worry me though about the admin and homeland security's sure fire overreaction to thinking attacking symptons will solve all this:

1) If they bad battery operated devices on planes, and my precious iPod is stored below how will I be better able to ignore the annoying traveller next to me and their 3 crying children?

This leads to the next one:

2) For the love of all that's holy, you know that they are actaully contemplating banning liquids on flights, how the hell will I have enough scotch to knock me out????!!!!

Anonymous said...

"Put down that sippy cup and spread 'em!"
Months long investigation in Britain ending with sweeping up these fanatics and what's the first thing we do? Ban liquids on planes! Uh, barn, horse, door...
Noah's right: "We're the most powerful nation in history because we stand for the most powerful things." But our gummint wants us to say "Agnes, git the duct tape and Visqueen, we got's to hide!" (and, by the way, give up the freedoms that have allowed us to become strong.)
At least the Duty Free stores are on the other side of the security barriers...
Bruce

The Minstrel Boy said...

bravo rogers. i spent most of yesterday refining travel plans. it involved some rescheduling, some deciding to do the session over the wire instead of in person. i looked at the lines at the airport and decided that six flights in eight days was more than my old, curmudgeonly ass could bear. i changed my plans, not out of a sense of fear, but out of irritation. i am also irritated by the fact that when our government officials come out to talk to us my first instinct it to disbelieve what they are saying on its face and then try to devine the real implication of their words. sad indeed. the raping of the constitution and the bill of rights has been the biggest victory osama et al can claim.

Kevin Wolf said...

I try to block out all the political bullshit that follows on the announcement of each of these foiled plots, but it ain't easy.

Excellent post.

Anonymous said...

"...and then I'm sending angry Welshmen to burn your country."

Best threat ever.

Seriously, these people need to read more Herodotos.

Persians: "Our army is the greatest the world has ever seen! When our archers fire, their arrows will blot out the sun!"

Spartans: "Good. We fight better in the shade."

Ken said...

Well, John, I think the definition of winning the War on Terror is clear:

When every oil-producing country in the Middle East is once again governed by people who keep the black gold flowing freely into American fuel tanks, and know how to keep their uppity poor folk working on the rigs, rather than plotting to blow stuff up. That Democracy thing? Not so important, really.

~Ken

ps: Loved you on the podcast for Eureka!

pps: I prefer bourbon.

Angelophile said...

Oh well, seeing as the last lot of London bombers WEREN'T caught before blowing up large chunks of our capital, I reserve the right to be a little nervous, thanks.

Not terrified and after the last bombings all anyone got was a **** you attitude from Londoners, but lying back and assuming that the world's intelligence agencies are always gonna mop up any terrorist plot is ridiculously optimistic after Madrid, London, Bali and other attrocities.

Dweeze said...

lying back and assuming that the world's intelligence agencies are always gonna mop up any terrorist plot is ridiculously optimistic after Madrid, London, Bali and other attrocities.

I won't presume to speak for our gracious host, but that's not what I got out of this piece. To me the post says "Yes, I accept that these plots are taking place and that some might succeed, but I am not going to let that thought govern every single aspect of my life to the extent that I start dancing to the fear tune every time the government starts to play it."

Otto Man said...

Beautifully said. I've never understood the members of the 82nd Chairborne who insist that your level of manhood can be determined by how often you piss your pants in fear over the gay Mexlamofascist conspiracy. Grow a set, Felicity, and shut the hell up.

Dwight Williams said...

I don't need no stinkin' FINAL CLASH of CIVILIZATIONS, thank you verry much.

To those who want it or need it that bad: take it off-planet and hold it on Phobos or Deimos. Somewhere outsystem from Mars, anyway.

Yours from the country where the Mounties had the alleged "Toronto 18" bamboozled six ways from Sunday,

Jeremy Slater said...

Bra-goddamn-vo.

Rogers said...

Dweeze is right -- not laying back and trusting authority (I don't completely trust anyone, actually, an attitude which dismays some people) -- but instead learning to live with such threats in a mature, measured, and yet still purposeful manner. IT IS NOT EITHER/OR -- completel trst or complete panic.

The point is, some people throw the phrase "pre 9/11 mindset" around. You know what a pre 9/11 mindset is? Thinking you can ever be completely safe. Thinking you'll ever completely win. The LUXURY of freaking out constantly when this shit happens. Because freaking out is an excuse to take our eyes off the ball.

The US is like middle-aged man who had a mild heart attack. And instead of moderating his diet and exercising, he bought the sportscar, the hairplugs, and is currently the old guy at the international relationships dance club.

Hmm, I'm not sure even I quite get that one. But I hope you do.

yellojkt said...

I have no idea how squeezing toothpaste into trashcans makes us any safer. Completely moronic over reactions again.

When I got interrogated for being on some bulshit IRA watchlist, I knew airport security was a joke. They could have told whether or not I was a terrorist before I got off the plane instead of harrassing me.

Doctor Memory said...

Hey, wow, two days after the primaries and they remember that the Terror Rainbow Alert system exists for the first time since, um, just after the last election. Who could have seen that coming?

It's like those annoying little birds outside my window, signifying the coming of spring and grating on my hangover.

It wouldn't annoy me so much if it weren't pretty likely to work.

Mark Waid said...

God help us if the TSA decides that you can make a bomb out of magazine glue binding, baby formula and eyeglass lenses. (Rogers, put down your pencil.) Here's an idea: why don't they just strip us naked at check-in, knock us out, and load us like cargo? It's only a matter of time.

Anonymous said...

The call came from inside the house? Sounds like an American horror cliche, not a Japanese one. Certainly didn't happen in Ringu, Jigoku, Inugami, Juon, Kairo, Gemini!?, Tomie, Nagai Yume, Shibito no koi wazurai, Dark Water or any other Japanese horror movie I can think of. I guess it was cute, though.

Dwight Williams said...

Mark, I believe that's already been suggested in the interests of saving time and skipping stages of paranoia.

Rogers said...

Yeah, mixed metaphor, but I realized the payoff for the Japanese reference was pretty obscure -- "The call is coming from your own phone in the future!" Sacrifice accuracy for imagery.

dan mcenroe said...

Hello Kitty panties flashing like Japanese schoolgirls who have just realized that the call is coming from inside the house!

i don't know why, but this got me hot.

anyway...

london didn't react this way during the troubles with the ira, and israel, a nation that knows a thing or two about living with terror, has never reacted as strangely as we are reacting now. the only reason i can think of for these bizarre new security measures is they are designed not to make us feel secure, but to make us more afraid, to keep the threat of terror foremost in our minds. it's absurd.

The Minstrel Boy said...

why don't they just strip us naked at check-in
only if you can promise that i'll be behind the swedish girls on tour.

Anonymous said...

May I point out that NYC has always reacted to these threats by going f*** you and going on about our business. There appears to be an inverse relationship between how close you were to the World Trade Center and how terrified you get over these threats. For me, I lived one block from the WTC on 9/11, and the only thing that frightens me is the steady destruction of our intelligence services. My dream is to allow NYC to secede, form its own nationstate, and then outsource our intelligence to some country that knows how to do it. I think a combination of Britain and Israel would do nicely.

Anonymous said...

We're going to be stopping one or two of these bastard mass-murder plots a year, minimum, for the rest of our lives.

Something to recite everytime that happens:
http://www.couragevow.com/

imjustbigboneddammit said...

"Wait, aren't you scared?"

Err, no. And that's why I don't wear seatbelts. No false bravado and it's not that I don't take physics seriously. I am just not going to wet my pants every time some guy goes through his windshield into a tree. I will do my best to drive well. But I will NOT be terrorized.

I am absolutely buffaloed by the people who insist I wear seatbelts -- "Come ON, people, EJECTION WILL KILL YOU!!".

As the initial "OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD WATCH OUT FOR THAT SEMI" hysteria subsides, we discover that people drive thousands of miles every day without seatbelts, and live.

--

Eh, I got tired. You're an idiot.

Rogers said...

I'MJUSTBIGBONEDAMMIT --

You .... kinda missed the point that I'm advocating snugly wearing our seatbelts, checking our blind spot and going about our business rather than driving about, weeping constantly at the prospect of being hit by a semi, didn't you? I mean, missed it completely. Completely. That the ENTIRE POINT OF THE POST is about understanding how reasonable precautions -- like, say, seatbelts -- are what's required.

That the risk of being hit by a semi is real, but driving is not made safer if your passenger is sscreaming "SWEET GOD WATCH OUT FOR THAT SEMI" every time he sees one on the highway in either lane.

It is very, very sad, when I understand the metaphor brought into the satire than you do. The reason you're "tired", and cant go on, is that constructing your satire is hard, because it doesn't make sense if you try to continue your own line of thinking. Your argument is not only not strong enough to stand up to my line of thinking, doesn't even stand up to yours.

Your kung fu is not strong.

And although I try never to name-call -- and that has applied to homophobes who have posted here, Christian righties (who often come back, because I strive to be polite), even the people who excoriate me for my views on the Iraq War -- I am honestly obligated to say: That is literally the dumbest fucking troll I have ever received.

Mark Waid said...

"That is literally the dumbest fucking troll I have ever received."

Or, to put it another way: "He's pitching a no-hitter, folks!"

Why, John? Why poke the bear? Why?

Doctor Jay said...

I totally wish that some Democrats would hire you as a speechwriter. I've been saying exactly this kind of thing, only not as funny, for years.

Well done.

Rogers said...

It's not the just the stupidity of the troll. It was really the pathetic way the metaphor petered out so fast, and the lame attempt at a half-ass save that drew my attention. The rhetorical equivalent of him storming back across the dance floor, muttering "Dyke. She was a dyke."

Oh, and the phrase "army of shirtless Mark Waids" came up in a perfectly reasonable context today. Thought you should know.

Auz said...

Just thought I'd add this was the terrorist-related-topic de jour the day before the recent blow-up...

The UK might have to modify its freedoms in the short term in order to prevent their "misuse and abuse" by terrorists, John Reid has said.

He conceded that was never an easy request, but it was up to everyone to ask: "What price our security, at what cost can we preserve our freedoms?"

The UK faced its "most sustained period of severe threat since the end of World War II", the home secretary warned.

Jay in Oregon said...

Oh, and the phrase "army of shirtless Mark Waids" came up in a perfectly reasonable context today. Thought you should know.

Somehow, I don't see an intersection between "army of shirtless Mark Waids" and "perfectly reasonable context" in this continuum.

As for the original post, "we're coming to kick your ass with brand new destroyers riveted by waitresses" almost made me do a spit-take. You're spot-on, man.

Lady Crumpet said...

Bravo. Thank you for writing that.

As someone who flew out from Heathrow just a few days before the news broke, I'm supremely grateful for kick-ass British intelligence. And I'll be happy to fly again, whatever silliness I have to deal with the next time I'm at the airport - which is in a few weeks, actually.

Jim Kakalios said...

An army of shirtless Mark Waids? You see, this is exactly why we have things like the Geneva Convention!

I keed. I keed because I love.

Brilliant post, per usual, John.

Ann K. said...

Most excellent rant! This is the message that should be all over corpomedia.. Not that booga boo crap we're being subjected to.

Redjack said...

I've told you about all that thinking,Rogers.

The chicks don't dig it, man.

And everybody knows, for you, it's all about the chicks.

ElGrande said...

What are you people yammering on about? Don't you know there is a Global War On Liquids And Other Semi-Solid Objects?

Yes folks, the pants-wetting, bed-shitting useless trash running our country have moved on.

We are no longer declaring war on a tactic. Now we are supposed to be afraid of a state of matter!

(And not a cool state of matter, like plasma or Einstein-Bose condensates.)

Well said Senor Monkey. Well said.

Anonymous said...

Exceptionally well said.

The day after 7/7 I went in to London, used the underground; granted it took me a little longer than I would have liked, and calmly went along with my business. I plan to do the same with using airplanes, well not for a while if it means no entertainment for 8 hours. I ain’t afraid of no terrorists…I mean ghosts.

Claire said...

Great post! My personal fave quote? "US. NOW: BE AFRAID!! Oh God, the Brown Bad people could strike any moment! They could strike ... NOW!! AHHHH. Okay, how about .. NOW!! AAGAGAHAHAHHAG! Quick, do whatever we tell you, and believe whatever we tell you, or YOU WILL BE KILLED BY BROWN PEOPLE!! PUT DOWN THAT SIPPY CUP!!"

Genius. Love the imagery of Churchill and buddies flipping off the Nazis also!

Scott said...

This should be required reading.

It is exceptionally well written. I'm adding your site to my list of favs. Keep doing the voodoo that you do. I'll see if I can muster a donation sounds like a great cause.

scory said...

We're flying to England at the end of September. And if it happens that the flight is our Satanic Verses moment, so be it. But I will not let the fundamendalists and authoritarians of the world stop my life and my work towards making a better world.

And should the very, very unlikely happen, I will come back and haunt their miserable, small minded lives.

Mel said...

Why hasn't Osama been caught? Is it incompetence, lack of will, or deliberate?

Anonymous said...

So, because a group of men in London, England allegedly wanted to blow up planes flying over the atlantic but are now in jail, I can't bring water on a commuter flight from Rockford to Des Moines. Makes sense to me, I guess.

Anonymous said...

What happened within hours (perhaps minutes) of last year's London subway bombings? The Brits started posting their pictures and comments on the "I am not afraid" website.

Here in the "land of the free and the home of the brave"... Well, let's just say that perhaps that phrase doesn't seem to have much meaning.

Bobarino said...

I'm afraid that your ability to correctly assess what we're up against and how to deal with it pretty much precludes any chance of you ever holding public office. Our loss.

Guy Caballero said...

Wow! We need to e-mail this post to every single member of Congress, or at least the Democrats. The extent to which the Rethugs (with the full cooperation of the "MSM") have terrorized the country into believing that only the Cheney adminstration can protect us from the next terror attack is scandalous. "Pre 9/11 mentality..." indeed! Bravo, Monkey Man...off to donate to Fisher House...

Anonymous said...

the real repig defense against terrorists is this: When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

Anonymous said...

Yes, back in the bad old '70s and '80s we British were so afraid of IRA terrorists that we immediately struck Dublin with laser-guided bombs and launched long-range Vulcan bomber raids on certain fund-raising locations in New York and Boston.

Oh no, we didn't do that did we? That must have been an alternate Bizarro Britain I misremembered.

Eddie Izzard used to do a very good routine on bomb alerts in London, and of how the natural response of the average Londoner was to simply route their way around the trouble. I'm rather nostalgic for those times, now. Ah, I remember it well, when the blast from Canary Wharf shook my windows and the mortar attack on Downing Street went off just around the corner from me.

Anonymous said...

Excellent post. I have not seen this sentiment put to words so well in a long time. Very succinct.

bernie said...

I know that my chances of getting killed while driving are very, very, very low. However, I do not drive behind a truck whose load of bricks is poorly secured. I do not yell and scream in panic, but I also don't close my eyes to the real threats around me.

One can try to ignore the very real threat of Islamic terrorists by poking fun and trying to make small of the problem. Sweden used to be a Christian Country, but if you go to Malmo and you are not Muslim, you will certainly be killed. If you are a female, you will be raped and tortured first, then killed. Even the Swedish Police do not venture into the Muslim enclave. I could give you links to my own posts on Malmo, but you can google it yourself, try Malmo Muslim.

But don't google it if you think you might wind up running amok in the streets screaming in fear for your lives.

If the right wing nutjobs are right about the threat of Islam and you people continue being dodos, well then, kiss your ass goodbye.

On the other hand, if the right is wrong [is that an oxymoron?] about the threat of Islam and we kill millions of Islamic extremists, then where is the harm to the planet?

Diane said...

John,
First time reading your blog and you have nailed it. I am sick of hearing "this is so scary" I'm pissed, not scared. I want to see more talking about the LAW ENFORECMENT action that did this latest work...not bombs. What was the reaction in 2004 when Kerry said this was a law enforcement problem not a military one?

Diane said...

John,
First time reading your blog and you have nailed it. I am sick of hearing "this is so scary" I'm pissed, not scared. I want to see more talking about the LAW ENFORECMENT action that did this latest work...not bombs. What was the reaction in 2004 when Kerry said this was a law enforcement problem not a military one?

Anonymous said...

great post!!! i was sent here by firedoglake and i hope a lot of others are linking too. i'm adding you to my favorites but you are toast baby if you send that bottle of scotch to coultergeist, who as you may remember did define the strategic goal "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to christianity".

Anonymous said...

One can try to ignore the very real threat of Islamic terrorists by poking fun and trying to make small of the problem.

Who's making small of the problem? No one. What folks are doing is rationalizing the threat, which is smaller than the Chicken Littles of the right claim.

If the right wing nutjobs are right about the threat of Islam and you people continue being dodos, well then, kiss your ass goodbye.

On the other hand, if the right is wrong [is that an oxymoron?] about the threat of Islam and we kill millions of Islamic extremists, then where is the harm to the planet?


Oh, have we learned so little in the past fifty years of dealing with terror? You deal with terror with good intelligence and detection work and by wielding the rule of law. Killing Islamic extremists has a habit of marginalizing those critical allies, the Islamic moderates (the same ones who supplied intelligence on the recent plot to the British authorities), and possibly turning them towards extremism. This is what we see in the Middle East today--a generation of Muslims radicalized by what they perceive as a crusade against their faith and culture.

No moderates = no win and an infinite supply of bad guys to slot. Sooner or later your trigger finger will get tired of the slaughter

-lee

Mel Valentin said...

John, that has to be one of your best posts. It should be spread far and wide. Heck, it should appear Monday in The New York Times, right next to Krugman's latest.

In any case, I just e-mailed the outgoing senator from the great state of Connecticut, Joseph Lieberman with a link to your post and a request he drop his "independent" bid. And yes, I was unfailingly polite.

Bobarino said...

One can try to ignore the very real threat of Islamic terrorists by poking fun and trying to make small of the problem.

Bernie, you have to read the blog post before you respond to it. And it's clear that you haven't done that, because the KungFooster didn't try to minimize or laugh away the problem. Chuck the strawman, read the post, and try again.

lizm said...

Fantastic. I agree 100% AND got some good belly laughs today :)

Anonymous said...

We need to get back at these brown people by letting them know we don't like people who don't bathe regualarly. That's the way to defeat them.....

Dr. Limerick said...

It's worse than you say. The red-staters who are most solidly behind Bush, and are apparently most afraid, are ekeing out livings in what looks like wasteland to the rest of us (and bravo to them!). But what's out there to terrorize?

I suppose I should thank them for being terrorized on my behalf, but meantime I'll allocate my worry among the usual urban hazards.

jackd said...

luddite fundamentalist criminal gangs/cults of personality

Memo to all KFM readers: It is totally unfair, and obviously not the proprietor's intent, to read this phrase as saying anything about the United States of America, the Executive Branch of its government, or the political party to which most of the members of said branch belong. So really, don't even think it.

Anonymous said...

Read recently (undernews?) that the chances of being killed by a terrorist attack are roughly the same as drowning in your bathtub.

Reagan, when he declared Nicaragua a "security threat", went to the president of Mexico and asked him to join in the declaration. "Can't do that", he said, "If I did, 40 million Mexicans would die laughing" (Chomsky has this in Hegemony or Survival).

Excellent post.

skippy said...

well said.

we said something similar a couple of months ago...having grown up during the 60's when america had a real enemy (the soviet union) that could blow our entire country up at a moment's notice...and we managed to survive, without having a nervous breakdown every two weeks.

not like these repubbblican poopy-pantsers of today. we are just sick and tired of it all.

Buttermilk Sky said...

"destroyers riveted by waitresses"...I'm passing Diet Coke through my nose over here. As Lewis Black said, the one thing these people can't stand up to is laughter, and by "these people" I mean the Bushistas as well as the scary brown people, fundamentalist dead-enders all. Keep it coming, KF Monkey.

Anonymous said...

Don't you realize that GWB is on vacation??? Given his track record, THAT is TERRIFYING!!!

kim said...

yellojkt said, "I have no idea how squeezing toothpaste into trashcans makes us any safer. Completely moronic over reactions again. "

Wait, wait! Follow the money! You figured it out; it's a plot by toothpaste manufacturers to increase sales!:-)

duff said...

There may a few 'real' terrorists out there, somewhere. But I can't think of any 'terrorist' attacks that probably were not staged. You guys are to trusting. Cui Bono.

And you know who that is.

WereBear said...

Speaking as someone who "ducked and covered" under their grade school desk, (and knew by third grade that it wouldn't do a bit of good,) I laud you for bringing the fresh air of reality to this subject.

Gee, when you grow up with Imminent Global Annihilation, it takes a little more that what's going on now to make me scared enough to stop thinking.

I do think this administration screws up security on purpose. They don't want the populace reassured. Keeping them on edge works so much better for them...

Anonymous said...

Timing is everything, isn't it!!

Anonymous said...

You said it perfectly, I culdn't agree with you more...Thanks, An UN-terrorized American

mychul said...

Will the welshmen use the ancient Welch martial art of 'Ecky Thump'?
persevere

Anonymous said...

. . . and the latest group of terrorists http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14320452/ didn't have plane tickets.

collaption said...

Just wanted to drop you a quick line, Monkey. You fucking nailed it with ". . .suck my insouciance"

Kung Fu Monkey you're my hero!

yndy said...

Well said!!

A Tad too long with too many big words for the average American Sheeple to read and understand...

But freaking brilliant!

gormly said...

although I agree with 99.9 of this.. I have to say it is not all Bush's fault that we are now like this.. (by "we" I mean the media...)

the governemnt is supposed to be our "all protector" now, didn't you know?

couple that with an overly litigeous society and every one is worried about little Johnnies safety so they HAVE to act all googly woogly about every little thing or someones gonna sue.

which, of course, is all the liberals fault.

HA

Daniel Fink said...

The use of liquid explosives on an airplane is NOTHING NEW! It was actually used in 1994...not plotted, not planned, not 'days away from a dry run'...but actually used! Suddenly, 12 years later (around election time...imagine that) it's a clear and present danger. And it's not just liquid, it's anything with a battery!

Perhaps we need to ban women with saline breast implants (lord knows what is really inside those 36DDDs) and anyone with a pacemaker or insulin pump!

The technology exists to locate liquid explosives. We already have technology that can identify potential terrorists (it identified 10 of the 9/11 attackers) that has nothing to do with race, religion or nationality. But the powers that be would rather frighten us into accepting a new measure of control than actually try to solve the problem.

Anonymous said...

Aaaah Jeeze! That was great. This is the America I love. Kia ora (be strong - this, too, will pass) from New Zealand.

tweeker said...

"The UK faced its "most sustained period of severe threat since the end of World War II", the home secretary warned."

6,000lbs TNT yield for every man, women, girl, and boy on the planet was a lesser threat?

Goverment sure does have poor risk assement these days. 9/11 killed as many as 5 weeks worth of carnage on the American highways.

Noah Brand said...

Bernie said:
On the other hand, if the right is wrong [is that an oxymoron?] about the threat of Islam and we kill millions of Islamic extremists, then where is the harm to the planet?

I'm sorry, there's just no nice way to put this.

You're a genocidal asshole who's on the same side as Osama Bin Laden, and the greatest threat to the world is the fact that you and thousands like you do not understand that observable fact.

Carmella said...

well said Noah

R.e. an earlier comment.
I'm not just imagining it though am I that its generally accepted now that the Soviet Union were in no way capable of 'living up' to the threat that they seemed to pose at the time. In fact no one was, except the US.

Sean said...

I thought the story about "that makes you the prince of fucking nobody" was your best post. This one is absolute muthafuggin' genius. Captures succintly & completely how I feel. Thank you for the great post.

Now make with Part 3 about your "Eureka" script!

Joshua said...

I quoted you over on my blogsite. Hope you don't mind, but I just loved the contrasts.

Times like now make you appreciate what make the great leaders truly great.

Anonymous said...

I agree with FDR when he says that 'the only thing we have to fear is fear itself', but it is quite strange that Pearl Harbour was used to drag the US into war exactly the same way as the attack on the WTC...

FlaviaR said...

QUOTE: Yes, back in the bad old '70s and '80s we British were so afraid of IRA terrorists that we immediately struck Dublin with laser-guided bombs and launched long-range Vulcan bomber raids on certain fund-raising locations in New York and Boston.

(end quote)

Then again, you British were dealing with Europeans, with a European mindset.

Fratdaddy said...

Who exactly are the people running around pissing their pants in fear? I think the average American is resigned to the fact that there is going to be a 9/11 part deux in the near future. Do you think anyone in America was shocked by this new terror plot? Hell, I think most people were just shocked they didn't have enough creativity to do something other than the whole airplane thing again.

The media may hype it up but your average Joe Jerkoff on the street could care less. I know because I am one of those jerkoffs. Wake me up when they finally detonate a nuke. I might give shit then.

garglingScotch said...

(bottle of 18-year old Scotch to whoever can meaningfully define THAT strategic goal, by the way)

George Bush *OUT* of our White House!

19 year Mortlach is quite good, as is Laphroaig Quarter Cask.

John said...

The Republicans and their friends in big media want you to to be terrorized so that you will vote for Republicans and support their policies.

Laura said...

I don't think there is much question of people panicing (not in the UK at least). It's just we're all so goddamed bored that it's something that we all pretend is worth causing a fuss about - the media included.

Anonymous said...

Dang, John, you are as smart as some of us senior citizens who have lived through it all and then some! There are just way too many people out there (anywhere; not just the blogosphere)who are intent on manipulating us and stealing our emotional energy. The odd part of it is there are a great many intelligent folks who fall for this and allow them to take the energy they would otherwise use creatively and leave them with a pantload instead! Keep on keeping on!

Dee said...

Exactly! I've been trying to make this point for so long.
If we cower under the sheets every time someone says boo, then the terrorists win!
If we give up the very freedoms that define us as "free", the terrorists win!
Don't give in to the terrorists!

Robert M said...

I'll try for the bottle of scotch. The measurable point of winning to GeorgieBoy is simple. When the last browm person is dead.

Robert M said...

I'll try for the bottle of scotch. The measurable point of winning to GeorgieBoy is simple. When the last browm person is dead.

I Pissed My Panties said...

This is all getting damn serious - you see I had a little 'accident' when I heard about the latest liquid explosion plot and I had to take my panties down to the local laundrette...Unfortunately,